Lux Caeli
by KimOfDrac
Summary: The prequel to Heaven's Light. (How it all started) Rated M for sexual content and language. Might have angst/hurt in later chapters.


" _You led me down from my ledge  
Gave my circle a brand new edge  
You found the pieces left of me  
Sewed them together carefully_

_And I'm not gonna lie to you  
I'm not gonna do the things I've learned I should do  
I'm not gonna hide  
'Cause I choose you  
I choose you  
I choose you"_

_(I choose you – Amanda Jenssen)_

_..._

Cyrus hit him in the stomach with his fist and he buckled over with a groan. The pain shot through him like a red-hot iron and within a short moment he did it again.

Reid fell to the floor, his heart racing from terror. He could hear it pound in his ears.

He could feel a burning throbbing in his stomach and he had to gasp for air.

The young agent looked up and saw Cyrus reach for the yellow remote that would trigger a bomb and kill them all.

"No one had to follow" Cyrus said with a dry nonchalance. "God could have stopped me"

Within seconds, the door was kicked down and shots were fired. Morgan shot Cyrus three times from the doorway and the Cult leader fell to the floor.

Reid looked at the body with determination.

"He just did"

The SWAT team stormed the building and there was a rush to get the children out of there. It was all a blur for Reid. As soon as he stood up, a scorching pain shot from his abdomen and throughout his chest.

It wasn't until Jesse approached the trigger on the floor that Reid came out of the daze and reached out, pushing Morgan towards the exit.

"RUN!"

Within a fragment of a moment, there was a loud explosion and the walls shattered. A cloud of rumbling fire spread through the building before anyone could even blink and the two agents fell to the ground, face down.

Chunks of concrete, dust and dirt flew over their heads and Reid held his breath, eyes shut tight.

As soon as it was over, Morgan grabbed him by the arm and pulled him up. They both gasped for air, but inhaled more smoke than oxygen and powdered plaster swirled down into their lungs. They both coughed.

They walked and the next thing he felt was Prentiss wrapping her arms around him in a tight embrace. He was relieved she was alive, and even though she was badly beaten, she was okay. They were all okay. _Morgan was okay_.

Morgan then forced both Reid and Prentiss go see the paramedic and Hotch gave him a quick nod as he put his hand on Prentiss back, walking with her to one of the ambulances.

Morgan walked with Reid.

"You okay?" Morgan asked, his voice slightly hoarse and dry from inhaling the smoke. Reid nodded.

_I am now._

"You gave us quite a scare" Morgan continued. "Thought I was going to lose you in there"

_**He** was going to lose **me**._

"I'm fine" Reid said with a small smile and took a seat on the gourney, thankful just to sit down and breathe for a moment. Morgan placed a hand on his shoulder and Reid felt shivers run up his spine from the touch. He closed his eyes to let himself drown in that feeling.

...

Morgan could so easily get mesmerized by the man infront of him. He watched Reid sit there, his hair messy and out of place, strands of it clinging to his forehead wich was glistening with sweat. His amazing, dark hazel eyes were closed and his lips were slightly parted. He would savor this picture in his mind.

A part of him screamed for him to tilt the younger agent's head back by tugging that messy, chestnut hair and kiss him senseless, but he remained professional and was happy enough just to touch that perfect creature that was Spencer Reid.

They were all tired and now, when he was finally abe to relax after the stressing case, Morgan felt completely exhaused and longed for a good night's sleep.

He watched as the medic checked Reid's blood preasure and his pupils with a flash light. As the medic asked Reid to lift his shirt so they could check out the damage Cyrus had caused, Morgan felt anger shoot through his vains. The skin on the young agent's pale abdomen had already started to bruise.

The medic touched the area gently, with a slight preassure to her fingers and Reid winced.

"You'll be sore for a while" the medic explained. "You're lucky, there's no internal bleeding and no broken ribs from what I can understand, but should the pain escalate you need to go to the hospital, okay?"

Reid nodded and pulled his shirt back down. Morgan watched his long, slender fingers button up the dark, grey cardigan again before he stood back up on his feet.

"Come on, I'll take you to the hotel" Morgan said and Reid followed him to the car.

...

The weeks went by and cases got emotionally harder, especially for Reid.

In the process of trying to figure out what had happened to the young agent as a kid, the dreams about his father and his worries about what his father had done... possibly even to _him_, Morgan wanted nothing more than to hold him and tell him everything was going to be alright, explain his feelings towards him and tell him that if that man, or any other, had ever touched him, he'd beat them into a pulp and personally drag their asses to jail and "accidently" mention what they were infront of the other prisoners.

But he didn't. His heart was breaking from the look in the young agent's eyes throughout the days, but he said nothing. He was there for him and Reid knew that. He gave him all the love and support he possibly could while staying professional.

In the end, it was a relief to find out that not only had Reid been spared from the pedophile, but his father had taken the bastard's life with his own bare hands before he could ever touch his boy.

The very moment Reid found out the man never got the oppurtunity to hurt him, the knot in his stomach disolved and he felt tears of relief and joy burn behind his eyelids. He could finally breathe again.

He could have thrown himself into Morgan's arms and just let go, empty his feelings into the strong arms of the older agent, but he didn't, he couldn't.

Morgan was a ladies man and he saw Reid as his little brother. There was no way he could ever love Derek Morgan the way he wanted to.

In the middle of the night, wherever they had a case, fate would almost everytime put Morgan and Reid in the hotel rooms next to eachother, and in the middle of the night, Reid would stare at the conjoining wall between them and in his mind, as he'd press his palm against the wallpaper, he'd feel Morgan's hand against his.

If he closed his eyes, he could feel Morgan's strong fingers between his own and as he'd close his hand to grasp Morgan's, there'd be nothing there but air.

He'd sigh, cursing his mind for wasting thoughts on something that was never going to be... never going to happen.

He'd run his fingers through his dark hair, tug at it hard, pull it in an attempt to stop the tears of frustration, but they came anyway and he'd rip the sheets from the bed just to get it all out. Once he'd thrown the TV remote into the wall and it had shattered into pieces.

He never knew that on the other side of that wall, Morgan would think about him to. Every single moment he wasn't working. Spencer Reid would be in his dreams, in his mind when he showered in the morning and the last subject of his thoughts before he went to sleep.

...

They had just finished the case where the psychopathic Professor Rothschild had been obsessed with the Fibonacci sequence when things got out of hand.

To anyone else it had seemed accidental and unnoticeable, but as Reid stood by the counter in the break room, pouring sugar into his coffee, Morgan approached him.

"Great work, kid"

He had ruffled the young man's hair and it sent shivers through his body, the hair on his arms standing as he got goosebumps and he had to close his eyes for a second and force back a gasp. He begged in his mind that Morgan hadn't noticed.

"Thanks" Reid replied and turned to face him, not prepared for how close Morgan stood. Their noses almost touched. He could see Morgan's pulse through the dark skin on his throat. For a second they both froze and Morgan held his breath.

He lost himself in Reid's deep, dark eyes. Golden brown, marbeled with hazel green, like a water color masterpiece. He swallowed and he could see Reid did the same. The younger agent's lips were slightly parted and just looking at them made Morgan's heart skip a beat.

"I-I'm sorry" Morgan said and reluctantly backed off. "Uhm, so... You almost down with the report?"

Reid nodded, still in a haze.

"H-half hour, maybe" he said quietly. Morgan nodded.

"Okay, well... You want a ride home?"

_I want to ride you._

Reid hurriedly stirred his coffee and nodded.

"Sure, okay..."

"Okay"

Neither could move for what seemed to be several minutes, but Reid felt his face get flushed and hurried past Morgan and towards his desk.

Half an hour later they both left the office and entered the elevator. They were alone and it seemed to take forever for the elevator to reach the garage at the bottom.

"Been a rough couple of days" Morgan said to break the silence. Reid sucked in his bottom lip and nodded.

"Yep"

Morgan groaned as he tilted his head to the side.

"Can't wait to have a long, hot shower"

Reid closed his eyes, trying to push away the images of Morgan naked and relaxing his muscles while steam and water surrounded his dark skin.

"Or a cold one" Reid said quietly to himself.

"Huh?"

"N-nothing"

Silence. Finally the doors opened and they stepped out, moving towards Morgan's black Ferrari.

"Will you be able to sleep now?" Morgan asked and pulled out of the parking spot.

_No, I will not._

"After all that coffee, I mean" Morgan continued.

"I'll probably read for a while" Reid said and smiled at him.

That smile. Morgan fought not to pull over and throw himself at the young man. He nodded.

"Alright, pretty boy"

_Oh, I love it when he calls me that._

They were silent the rest of the way. Morgan pulled up outside Reid's appartment building and turned to face him when Reid did the same and again their faces were so close they could feel the other's hot breath against their face.

Reid felt the butterflies flap around in the pit of his stomach. Morgan went deaf from his own heartbeat pounding in his ears.

In less than a second Reid felt strong lips on his own, kissing him. He was startled but his insides just melted completely and he closed his eyes, responding by kissing back.

Morgan's lips were warm and soft and he could do nothing but enjoy the feeling of them against his own.

Feeling Reid's full lips rub against his own could almost drive Morgan completely mad. As the young agent opened his mouth to let out a deep breath he took the oppurtunity to slide his tongue in and Reid let out a soft groan as Morgan tasted the inside of his mouth.

They were ripped from their steamy cloud when Morgan accidently pushed his elbow against the horn and they pulled away.

Panting they just looked at eachother, not knowing what to do.

It felt so wrong, so very, very wrong but at the same time, so damn good.

Reid quickly opened the door and undid his belt.

"See you tomorrow"

Morgan didn't even have time to say good bye or to explain himself, before the door was slammed shut and he saw Reid hurry towards the door.

...

The hot water hit his face and he closed his eyes, flashes of what had happened in Morgan's car appearing in his mind. He turned his head down, letting the water soak his hair.

He could feel Morgan's lips on his still, his warm tongue.

He pushed a palm against the tiled wall while the other slid down his front.

Morgan's breath on his face. Spicy, sweet.

Reid wrapped his long fingers around his already hardening member and stroke himself. In his mind, he could see Morgan's tight muscles, his firm fingers as he grabbed his gun.

He stroke harder, tilting his head back, letting the hot water roll down his face.

The steam filled his lungs as he panted.

He could feel the tingeling from his arousal spread throughout his veins, sending shivers up his spine.

He pictured Morgan on his knees.

"Oh... God"

He wrapped his fingers harder around his member, stroking faster. His knees felt weak as he thought of Morgan licking him, sucking him, teasing him... Morgan's hand pumping him into climax.

He had to lean back against the wall. The cold tiles made him shiver even more and he was moaning, cussing under his breath as he felt himself getting closer to the edge.

In his mind, he watched as Morgan took his entire length in his mouth, down his throat.

"Fuck...!" he whimpered and his entire body shuddered as he came, his thin frame in spasms of pleasure as he pumped every last drop out of him and then he stood there for a moment, his cheast heaving. He tilted his head back and couldn't help but smile to himself.

Morgan had kissed him.

It had taken Reid about ten minutes to like Morgan. At first, it was his looks. He was muscular, all in the right places. His arms, his chest, his _ass_. Oh,yes, Reid had noticed.

Then it was the way Derek Morgan talked, the balance of attitude and kindness.

In all honesty, he was gorgeous. Dark, copper skin and deep, dark eyes, like black coffee, and his smile... Oh, his smile. Perfect, white teeth and every single smile was completely honest and loving.

Reid liked the man and hoped they'd be friends. His deep laugh was in some way comforting.

Reid had been too nervous to talk to him on his first day. When Hotch had introduced him to the team he had just given them a nervous wave and within seconds the two female agents, Jennifer and Elle had been all over him, wanting to know everything about him, apparently very interested how such a young guy could get hired by the FBI. He had just turned 22 and had basically been chased by the unit for a year, but he hadn't been interested before, there had been too many interesting courses for him to attend.

It wasn't until he met Jason Gideon after a lecture and he had told him about the job and practically dragged him over to Quantico for an interview with Aaron Hotchner that he accepted the job offer.

Slowly though, he and Morgan had become close friends and even if he knew very well Morgan was the straightest man in the world, he couldn't help but fall for him. Luckily, the cases and his mom kept him constantly busy enough to take his mind of his feelings for Morgan, even if there had been times when he'd wished and wanted to tell the dark hunk exactly how he felt about him.

For Morgan, it had been harder to get a grasp aound the young man. When Spencer Reid first walked through their doors and was introduced as a Doctor, he didn't believe it.

There was no way such a young kid could have all those degrees and more importantly the guts to chase down dangerous criminals.

All he could possibly be used for was bait or maybe talk the unsubs to death. Oh yeah, the kid was shy at first, but once he opened his mouth, that was his secret weapon.

He was too beautiful to get out on the field and work amongs decomposing corpses and psychopathic killers. Morgan had even admitted to it himself, damn, he was a beautiful young man.

He'd been just slightly tanned, probably from reading or playing chess for hours outside and his face was perfectly sculpted. He had dark circles around his big eyes, making them pop even more, gorgeous cheekbones and his hair had been neatly combed to the side.

Whenever his mind had come up with an idea, he'd raised a long, slim finger and parted his lips, licking them before spilling sentences no one would quite understand.

Morgan was interested in him, but not really in _that_ way. Morgan loved the babes and couldn't even imagine being with a dude.

It wasn't until years later, when they'd become good friends and he'd started to care more, worry about the kid, when he'd caught himself thinking about what it would feel like being kissed by those full lips.

He had realised his feelings had grown stronger, more caring for the young doctor the very moment he had entered the train in Texas, pretening to be a technician to remove a chip from the psychotic Dr Theodore Bryar.

He had felt a different kind of fear that day.

The moment of truth, when he finally knew he was in love with the boy, was when he stared at the screen, seeing Tobias Hankel beat him, kill him.

He had been so filled with anger and hurt, his heart had shattered completely at the sight of Reid's lifeless body on the concrete floor, his thin frame tied to a chair.

And now, well he was in love. Deeply in love, not even looking at hot girls anymore. He only had eyes for Spencer Reid and he had finally done it.

He had kissed him and Reid had kissed him back.

It must've meant something... He hoped and begged it had meant his feelings were mutual.

Morgan was sitting in bed with his pillows propped up behind his back watching TV, but not really paying attention to what was on. He glared at his phone on the nightstands over and over. He wanted Reid to call him, but he didn't.

Morgan felt a nervous flutter in his gut. After all, Reid had been quick to get out of the car. Maybe he had been mistaken. Maybe all the glances and little smiles had been innocent and not at all what Morgan had thought.

He worried that maybe the young genius had felt as if Morgan had forced himself on him, scared him.

He picked up the phone and clicked through his contact list. He stared at the name that was glowing on the screen in the dark for a long time before he finally clicked to call him.

One signal.

Two.

Three.

"Hello?"

Morgan closed his eye and took a deep breath.

"Hey, pretty boy" he said, trying to sound as he always did.

"Oh, uhm- hey" Reid said on the other side of the call. "Is something up? It's almost midnight..."

Morgan glanced over at the alarm clock. 11.53 pm.

"Yeah, sorry I'm calling you so late. I just... What happened in the car-"

Reid interrupted him before he could continue.

"Don't worry, Morgan. It was just a one-time thing and I don't expect yo to..."

He heard him sigh and Morgan closed his eyes. His lips were dry.

"No, kid... I let my feelings for you get out of hand and-"

"You've got feelings for me?"

Oh, wow. What was he going to say now.

"I'm sorry, kid" Morgan said. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable"

Reid let out a sweet chuckle.

"Derek... I waited years for that kiss, in fact I- I never thought you'd ever like me... you know, like that"

Morgan frowned.

"Like what?"

There was a moment of silence.

"Like... I like you"

Morgan felt his heart race and pound hard against his sternum. He smiled.

"Well what do ya know, we're both profilers and we didn't have a clue"

Reid snorted.

"I just... I thought you were a ladies man. I was so sure I'd never have a chance"

Morgan couldn't help but smile.

"I've been livin' that life for too long. I wanna take the mask off. I want you to be my Pretty boy for real"

Again, silence for a moment. Morgan chewed on his bottom lip.

"We can't"

Morgan's heart sank. Reid was right, but it wouldn't stop him for one moment.

"Kid, I can't let you go. Definatly not now." Morgan said, almost desperatly.

"You won't have to" Reid said assuringly. "Just, let's approach this with care, ok?"

It was better than nothing.

"Ok"

"I-I'll see you tomorrow"

Morgan nodded to himself, a smile spreading on his face.

"Night, pretty boy"

...

**AN: Hey everyone :) How did you like the first chapter of how it all started?**

**This is set in season 4 and Heaven's Light was set in the later epsiodes of season 5 where Reid no longer has to walk with a cane.**

**Please leave a review :D**


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